I was talking to a friend today. He told me that depression
was a choice. He was totally convinced that I could just turn off the
depression and be fine. I told him it wasn’t. We agreed to disagree, but I feel
like there are a lot of people out there that believe the same as my friend.
I am here to say that depression, at least for me, is not a choice. Why would I choose to feel this way or have these thoughts? I wouldn’t. However, I do have a choice in something. I have a choice in how I react.
For people who have not been depressed before, know that it is a dark place. Sometimes you cannot feel the light or see any hope. Even with the view of the Gospel, some days are really hard. Elder Holland said the following “But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibility suggest it would surely go away if the victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking. No, this dark night of the mind and spirit is more than mere discouragement.”
Another choice is what we put at the center of our lives. We
can choose to let the trials control us. I have to admit that at times I have
given in to this. I have let the thoughts control what I do, how I feel, how I
react. But “The history of the Church in this, the dispensation of the fullness
of times, is replete with the experiences of those who have struggled and yet
who have remained steadfast and of good cheer. The reason? They have made the
gospel of Jesus Christ the center of their lives. This is what will pull us
through whatever comes our way. We will still experience difficult
challenges, but we will be able to face them, to meet them head-on, and to
emerge victorious.” As we do as
President Monson says and put Jesus Christ first in our lives, then we will
still have difficult challenges. For some of us, that is depression. For others
it is other trials. The choice is still the same. As we go through these
difficult times, if we put Christ as the center then we can emerge victorious.
We can defeat what comes our way.
I am here to say that depression, at least for me, is not a choice. Why would I choose to feel this way or have these thoughts? I wouldn’t. However, I do have a choice in something. I have a choice in how I react.
For people who have not been depressed before, know that it is a dark place. Sometimes you cannot feel the light or see any hope. Even with the view of the Gospel, some days are really hard. Elder Holland said the following “But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibility suggest it would surely go away if the victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking. No, this dark night of the mind and spirit is more than mere discouragement.”
So for me, depression is not a choice. It is not something
that I would want to live with if I had a choice. Again though, I DO HAVE A CHOICE!
We all have choices. Agency has been the gift that we have been given from our
Heavenly Father. We do have the opportunity to use it. When we are depressed,
we can choose to just give in to the depression or keep living. There have been
weeks and months in my life that it has been difficult to live life. To go out
into the world and hide the thoughts that were constantly in my mind. The
biggest choice that we have is we can use the strength of the Atonement to help
us live.
Elder Richard G. Scott said “Fill your life with the service
to others. As you lose your life in the service of Father in Heaven’s children,
Satan’s temptations lose power in your life.” Temptations do not just apply to
sins, just as the Atonement does not just apply to sins. Satan can tempt us to
think negatively about ourselves. That has been my biggest struggle. He has put
many thoughts of inadequacy into my mind throughout my whole life. I choose
what I do with these thoughts. Sometimes he is stronger than others. He knows
our weaknesses and will milk them for all that they are worth. That is one
choice I have. I can choose to not just think of myself and serve others. This
helps a lot.
Another choice is what we put at the center of our lives. We
can choose to let the trials control us. I have to admit that at times I have
given in to this. I have let the thoughts control what I do, how I feel, how I
react. But “The history of the Church in this, the dispensation of the fullness
of times, is replete with the experiences of those who have struggled and yet
who have remained steadfast and of good cheer. The reason? They have made the
gospel of Jesus Christ the center of their lives. This is what will pull us
through whatever comes our way. We will still experience difficult
challenges, but we will be able to face them, to meet them head-on, and to
emerge victorious.” As we do as
President Monson says and put Jesus Christ first in our lives, then we will
still have difficult challenges. For some of us, that is depression. For others
it is other trials. The choice is still the same. As we go through these
difficult times, if we put Christ as the center then we can emerge victorious.
We can defeat what comes our way.
We make choices every day to the things that come in our
lives. Depression is no different. I can choose to be happy and still be
struggling with the feelings of inadequacy. I choose how I react to my trials.
You can to.
I love the question that President Monson asked. “Job kept
the faith. Will we do likewise as we face those challenges which will be ours?”
Choose to keep the faith. No matter what you are struggling with, keep the
faith. It will not be easy. He never told us it would be.
Come what may and love it.
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