Yesterday, we went hospital singing like we do every Sunday. There was one patient that we sang to that I haven't seen in a while. His name is Rob. He can barely speak. He wanted to request a song for us to sing. It took us several minutes of guessing to finally get what he was talking about. As we left, I heard everyone else talking about how hard it would be to live like that and how grateful they are that they can speak. I can see where they are coming from, but I left grateful I can hear.
I have a hearing disability. Maybe sometime I will share the story on here, but if you really want to know you can talk to me about it. For now, I will say that in Junior High I found out that I had a hearing loss. Some days are better than others. Some days I just smile and pretend that I actually heard what someone said to me. Some days are hard and I can barely hear. This week has been pretty hard. Going to the hospital, seeing Rob, that made it all too real. I felt so disoriented not being able to communicate with him- not being able to understand what he wanted me to understand. Someday, that could be me with everyone and that scares me. It scares me a lot.
Man. Here I was, standing in a hospital hallway fearing for myself. I could not believe how selfish I was being. I was surrounded by people in so much worse situations than myself and I was scared.
Later on, I read this quote from Elder Holland:
I am so grateful for the relationship that I have with my Heavenly Father. My hearing disability brought me closer to my Savior and my Father in ways that I cannot even begin to describe. I do not know what tomorrow may bring. I may be able to hear, I may not. But that should not be what I focus on. What I should focus on is the ground I have already won. I should focus on the good things in my life and the influence that I want to bring to others.
So here is to giving up the fears and truly believing what I end every post with.
Come what may and love it!
I have a hearing disability. Maybe sometime I will share the story on here, but if you really want to know you can talk to me about it. For now, I will say that in Junior High I found out that I had a hearing loss. Some days are better than others. Some days I just smile and pretend that I actually heard what someone said to me. Some days are hard and I can barely hear. This week has been pretty hard. Going to the hospital, seeing Rob, that made it all too real. I felt so disoriented not being able to communicate with him- not being able to understand what he wanted me to understand. Someday, that could be me with everyone and that scares me. It scares me a lot.
Man. Here I was, standing in a hospital hallway fearing for myself. I could not believe how selfish I was being. I was surrounded by people in so much worse situations than myself and I was scared.
Later on, I read this quote from Elder Holland:
"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times hold the ground you have already won even if that ground is limited."
I am so grateful for the relationship that I have with my Heavenly Father. My hearing disability brought me closer to my Savior and my Father in ways that I cannot even begin to describe. I do not know what tomorrow may bring. I may be able to hear, I may not. But that should not be what I focus on. What I should focus on is the ground I have already won. I should focus on the good things in my life and the influence that I want to bring to others.
So here is to giving up the fears and truly believing what I end every post with.
Come what may and love it!
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