At Last I See the Light

First off, I need to apologize for not blogging recently. It has been a rough couple of weeks for me, but I am back and hopefully will share my thoughts a little more often.

Second- I need to thank everyone that reads this blog. About a month ago, I posted on here about my experiences with depression. Since then, I have been blessed to receive a ton of support. More surprisingly thought, I have had many people come to me and talk about their experiences. I have really enjoyed the opportunity that I have had to discuss not only depression, but other trials with these people that I believed were absolutely perfect. They still are perfect in my eyes- actually, they may even be even more perfect because I can see that they are humans that are reaching for perfection.

Now off to the real topic of this blog. I was watching one of my all time favorite movies this past week: Tangled. I become a little girl when I watch it because I love every little piece. I love the story, I love the animation, I love the songs. Did I mention that I love it? Anyway-so my favorite song came on:

It made me think back to an experience that I had when I was in junior high. I was chatting on Yahoo Messenger (yep, I was one of those cool kids) with one of my best friends. We had some deep conversations of YM (as we called it back then). We were talking about the Gospel- he is a non-member and he was asking me why I believed it. In all of our conversations he would use the term "blind". He thought that I was blind to the world around me because my religion had me so encapsulated. Honestly, he was right. Stick with me for a moment! I was blind. I just was following on blind faith. I did not know that the church was true.  Elder Holland talked about a 14-year-old boy who was very similar to me in this situation. The boy told Elder Holland "I can't say yet that I know the Church is true, but I believe it is." I was blind because I was running on something I did not know.

However, like President Uchtdorf said in this last General Conference: "It's natural to have questions- the acorn of honest inquiry has often sprouted and matured into a great oak of understanding."

I am not sure that I have a great oak of faith, but I do have a little more than an acorn.

 

"All those days watching from the windows.

All those years outside looking in.

All that time never even knowing

Just how blind I've been.

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight

Now I'm here, suddenly I see

Standing here, it's oh so clear

I'm where I'm meant to be.

 

And at last I see the light. 

And it's like the fog has lifted.

And at last I see the light.

And it's like the sky is new.

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted.

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you."

 

 

Some things do not make sense in the moment. Sometimes we don't understand how much we do not see until we start looking back. Suddenly we are in the light and life makes sense.