Thoughts on Modesty: Why am I Modest?

This blogpost has been going through my mind a lot these last few weeks, but finally I decided I needed to write it out after falling in love with this video.

This month I have searched high and low for a modest swim suit. It is interesting to find out what the world now thinks is “modest”. Saying something was a “one piece swimsuit” used to mean that it was modest, but slowly even the one-piece suits have become lower cut in the front, in the back, and on the sides.  It is no longer modest when there is more skin than suit or it is just barely covering up the bare essentials. 

It is interesting to see how my views have changed. Up until last year this girl was so insecure about her body that she wore a swimsuit with basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I know. I was pretty bad. But as I have come to appreciate my body more, I have wanted to stay modest without being prudish.

Women have it hard these days. We live in a world that is plastered with images of Size 0 and told that we are only beautiful when we are able to give guys what they want to look at. When did beauty become being able to see rib bones or down a girl’s shirt. Girls listen to this- a guy isn’t worth having if he only wants to have you for your body. They will never respect you when you aren’t showing respect for yourself. A guy that is so superficial that he just would want you to look at won’t stick around through the moments when things get rough. Base a relationship on something more than looks. 

 

Men have it really rough as well though. We tell them that their minds should not be in the gutter, but then we put the gutter right in front of them every single day. Even just going on Facebook or walking down the street (in Provo, Utah), there are images of girls wearing barely anything. We tell guys “No, don’t go there”, but them show them images of “It is okay to look”. No wonder our society has a problem with young men looking at things they shouldn’t!

“Male college students at Princeton university had brain scans done to see how they would react to seeing people in different amounts of clothing. When they viewed scantily clad women, the part of their brain associated with tools (hammers, screwdrivers, etc), lit up. When some of the men viewed scantily clad women, the men’s medial pre-frontal cortex deactivated. This region of the brain is associated with analyzing a person’s thoughts, intentions, and feelings. “It is as if they are reacting to these women as if they are not fully human….they are responding to these photographs as if they were responding to objects rather than people.” Information found HERE.

I thought that this was an interesting study. Before, I had never thought about the way that I dressed affecting the minds of those around me so strongly. It puts a lot of power in the way that I choose to dress. I am not saying that this makes women responsible for the thoughts of men, but at the same time, why not? Why not help the guys out a little more?

I hate the term “modest is hottest”. Let’s be completely honest. Modest is not hottest. Being ‘hot’, at least from what I understand, brings a certain sexual connotation to the person’s looks. Dressing modestly is to help guys not have those feelings, right? So then why do we always say that “modest is hottest”? Modest means something more. It means being comfortable enough with who you are, inside and out.

I can’t believe I am quoting Marilyn Monroe, but I am… “Your clothes should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, but loose enough to show you’re a lady.” For me, dressing modest helps show confidence in who I am. I want people to see me for who I am on the inside, and not just on the outside.

 

 I love this video from Jessica Rey:

 

One quote stands out to me in particular: “We need to bring [modesty] back…we need to teach girls that modesty isn’t about covering up our bodies because they are bad. Modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves. It is about revealing our dignity. We were made beautiful-in His image and likeness. How will you use your beauty?”

So why am I modest?

I am modest for my friends. I am modest for my three brothers. I am modest for my nephews. I am modest for my entire family. I am modest for my future husband. I am modest for my future children. But mostly, I am modest for me.

To me, being modest is showing respect to myself and to God. I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am appreciative of my body. But at the same time this does not mean that I need to show everyone everything. I feel most comfortable when I am wearing clothes that I am not pulling, tucking, or re-adjusting to make sure that everything is covered. I want others go get to know me for me, not just by what I wear. For me, being modest isn’t about being the hottest. It is about showing my beauty, inside and out.

 

Come what may and love it.

Note: I am not condemning those who choose to dress in a different way that I do. The purpose of this blog was to show why I dress the way that I do.