Suicide Prevention Week- Accessing Christ's Atonement for Spiritual and Emotional Help

I have been meaning to get a blog post written as soon as I read that it was Suicide Prevention Week on Facebook. I love the publicity that this is getting now, verses a few years ago. I think that by being open about talking about suicide, we are preventing a lot of suicides from happening. Why? Because that teenager or adult that doesn't understand what they are feeling now sees how to get help. They see that they shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed, but that other people feel this way too. 

I have talked about my own thoughts of suicide before, but today I wanted to share some hope. I absolutely cringed when Robin Williams committed suicide and everyone kept saying that he was "free". Yes, he had fought a good fight, but I was so scared of it encouraging others to commit suicide to escape because they wanted the same freedom. 

Today, I want to share something that I shared with a family member before about how to use Jesus Christ's atonement to receive spiritual and emotional help. Here is my letter to that person:

I will be completely honest that this is something that I have not completely mastered, nor do I think I ever will in my lifetime (Who can, honestly??) 

However, this has been something that I have been studying and working on a lot in the last few years. I thought I could share with you some of my thoughts on the subject. 

First, I want to share a quote from Elder Oaks:

The people who followed Alma were in bondage to wicked oppressors. When they prayed for relief, the Lord told them He would deliever them eventually, but in the meantime He would ease their burdens "that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses...that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions" (Mosiah 24:14). In that case the people did not have their burdens removed, but the Lord strengthened them so that "they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (v. 15)

At times, the stresses can feel like a wicked oppressor. It is hard to get out and we pray for relief. The Lord can't always take away that emotional and spiritual stress, but He does promise that there will be relief eventually. In the meantime, He can help us not feel it as much. He can make the burden a little lighter.

On some of my toughest days, it wasn't about praying for all of the pain to be gone. It was a prayer to be able to get out of bed in the morning. It was a prayer to make it through my classes that day. It was a prayer to make it one day (or even a certain hour) without crying. When I realized that it was not praying for a "heal all" solution, but the little successes, I was better able to take advantage of the Atonement.

Another quote from Elder Oaks:

At times we may despair that our burdens are too great. When it seems that a tempest is raging in our lives, we may feel abandoned and cry out like the disciples in the storm, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" (Mark 4:38). At such times we should remember His reply: "Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?" (v. 40). The healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ -- whether it removes our burdens or strengthens us to endure and live with them like the Apostle Paul-- is available for every affliction in mortality.

When I think about Christ and depression, there is one experience in the Atonement that I like to draw on...

I absolutely love the imagery that Mark 14:32-36 offers for the Atonement:

32 And they came to a place which was named Gethsemane: and he saith to his disciples, Sit ye here, while I shall pray. 33 And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy; 34 And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch. 

Brief interruption: Can you imagine the spiritual, emotional, and physical stress that was already on Christ before He 'bled from every pore'. Here is He is admitting His weaknesses to Peter, James, and John. He is telling them that He is already suffering at this point. To me, this is so relevant to depression. Sometimes your soul just feels sorrowful. It is hard to explain, but as those stresses come it just feels like something is wrong in the back of your head. For some, it is unto death. As you know- that is how it was for me. Not saying that is how it is for you though. Let's continue with what Mark had to say...

35 And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. 

Another brief interruption: This is part of the language that I love. Every other place where it talks about the atonement, it talks about how Christ knelt in prayer. This tells us that He fell on the ground. He reached that breaking point where He just needed to pray. He needed help from His Father. We all have those moments.

36 And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt. 

As I referenced earlier, Elder Oaks talks about how the people of Alma wanted to be free from their oppressors. God didn't say a hard "NO!" He did, however, tell them that freedom would not come instantly. Relief would be there. For Christ, during his atonement, it comes in the form of an angel sent to strengthen Him (Luke 22:43).

The next few verses in Mark 14 goes on to tell us about how Christ's disciples couldn't even stay awake during this time. I think about how lonely Christ must have felt. Here He was redeeming the sins and sorrows of the world from the beginning of time until the end, and these men-his most loyal friends-could not bother to stay awake! Can you imagine how upset He would be? To me, this would feel like more of a betrayal than Judas.

Christ did the Atonement alone. Without His Father. Without His friends. For me, as I see Christ in His time of need feeling so utterly alone, it helps me reach that part of the Atonement. It helps me reach into those moments of the Atonement and say to Him "I know that you felt this too. I see it here in the scriptures that you felt stressed. you felt alone. God couldn't take the pain from you, but you made it through. You did it. Now...please help me."

Again- this is something that I have been working through for years. I am definitely not perfect at reaching this part of the Atonement every time I feel alone or stressed emotionally and spiritually. Gariet can attest ot that for sure, but as you see yourself and your trials in Christ's Atonement and see your hard moments in His hard moments, it may help access the Atonement in this way.

That ends my letter-

I hope that this post can help someone in need. I know reading it again has helped me already.  The biggest message I can send during Suicide Prevention Week is this-

You are not alone. You don't have to go through it alone. Get help.

Come What May and Love It!